Consider the Source



Have you ever felt like a "spammer?"

Why do I ask that question? Well, honestly because I have sometimes been made to feel that way.

Normally, when I give someone a link and ask them to check out a program or service - especially something that requires an investment, I do it because I honestly think that it might be something useful for the person for what ever reason.

Recently I did that in a Skype chat room and it sort of came across like I was trying to "push" something on someone. Yes, this does happen far too often, and I can understand the negative feelings behind it, but the Skype room I was in is a room I have been a member of for a number of years. Meaning that the people in the room should know me and understand my intentions. Which leads to the theme of "Considering the Source."

There are spammers galore out there. But not everyone who posts a link in a public forum is a spammer. We need to think seriously about who posted the link and why. If it fits our personal category of "spammer," then so be it. But If you realize someone is just trying to pass along some useful information, then take it as that.

There is a reason that there rules in public forums for posting links. Those rules are very important. But sometimes someone may make an error in judgment and post a link somewhere they really shouldn't. Does that make them a spammer or "program pusher?" Not really.

I have taken a look at a great number of links posted by people in my networking circles. I know that the people aren't simply trying to make a quick buck. I have even joined or purchased things from their links. Sometimes I even do it simply to support them if I can when I know that they will get some sort of commission from it. That is my way of helping people out in my networking circles. To be honest, we are ALL trying to make money in our industry - but we should understand how to use discretion.

So, the next time someone you know (or should know) posts a link in your Skype room or some other public/semi-public forum, consider who the link is coming from. Maybe that person thinks that you will understand their intentions. You can at least give it a "courtesy look" and tell them what you honestly think about it and why it's not for you. That's a part of what networking is all about folks!

There is no felling more terrible than when people in your networking circles think you are a spammer when that is the furthest from your intentions. If there is someone in your network that seems to do a bit much "suggesting" things, why not speak with them privately and say something like 'hey, I know you mean well, but when you do that so often you come across like a spammer.' I think the person would appreciate the "tap on the shoulder." If they don't appreciate it - then that's their problem.

Thanks for reading my blah blah blah.

Till next time!

Yours in Success,

John L. Brewer

Tell Your Friends!


16 Replies to “Consider the Source”

  • This all comes back to building relationships before giving a link out. Become people’s trusted friend and adviser first they need to see you as someone trying to help not just someone who wants to make a sale.

  • Have you added some text to the link? It personally annoys me when people just post a link. I would not consider it as spam unless the person never interacts in the forum or chat room at all.
    But with a short and nice text what the link is about, and your intention i think that would be perceived differently

  • There is another reason I believe this should be ‘tastefully’ done, John, and that is the responses.
    Part of our marketing is to find the right people who may find products/services, new programs or software of interest to them.

    IF in our own rooms, or team groups, we are chastised for seeking their input, seems to me the problem is not yours.

    Nice post.

    Fran Klasinski

    • Hey Fran,

      Thanks for that. Makes me feel much better.
      This has been bothering me since it happend – especially since it led to a disagreement with a good marketing friend.
      I apologized to him being out of line with some of the things I said, but I still somehow feel that folks in that room think I was being pushy.
      I did NOT intend to be.

      Thanks again for your comment.

  • Hey John
    In all honesty, in this kind of situation, I think people are sometimes a little too sensitive when links are put out and that is their problem, not yours.

    Clearly when people start out online they soon learn not to be pushy or spammy (well, most do!) and most of us treat each other with respect.

    When you’re in a room of friends/contacts with similar interests it seems fair to share items of common interest. If anybody doesn’t want to click the link they’re not forced into it and so why should it cause offence?

    Their reaction is illogical in my eyes. Simple as.

    Move on and focus on the next thing rather than worrying. That makes you ill, trust me I know 🙂

    • Hey Paul,

      Thanks so much for your comment. You and Fran have helped me feel better about what happened.

      The “argument” we had was partially my fault (I got a bit excited – lol), but the link and offer was truly genuine.

      Thanks again for commenting!

  • Yeah the source is very important. It’s tough you know, trying to stay relevant in today’s world but not coming across too pushy. And when you do not promote, it’s out of sight, out of mind.

    I think Kerri was bang on when she mentioned the importance of the relationships with each other, that will always determine if something is looked at as pushy, or helpful.

    • Hey Jon,

      Yes, relationships are everything. You have been saying that for years.

      And just so you don’t forget, YOU are the reason I stuck around in this industry. 🙂

      Thanks for all of your encouragement and for simply being you!

  • If you truly believe in what you are doing, then I would think we all have been in a position where we may question how we present ourselves to others.

    I know I talk A LOT about my various business ventures. Sometimes in excess! We can become, in a way, our own worst public presence.

    It can be much harder to define that – line – not to cross when talking to people you are around on a regular basis. Higher exposure allows some to perceive that you are pushing too much, spamming your latest and greatest ideas. You tend to feel that they – know – you well enough to understand that it is meant to offer a positive aspect. When, in reality, others may see it as more of a self-promotion opportunity. Here again is an aspect of the intent/perception disparity.

    We can only do what we feel is best. Hope for positive outcomes, and deal with problems as they arise. As long as we are aware that others may see things differently, and approach that from a professional perspective, the positives will outweigh the negatives.

    Avoid arguments. They usually solve nothing, and if in a public venue, can cause indirect harm to your brand. Those that do understand will still support you. And those that don’t, probably never will regardless of what you say.

    Regardless, take every opportunity such as this as one to learn from. Adapt and overcome. Tomorrow will present new opportunities and challenges. Dwell not in the past, least you become trapped there. 🙂

    • Hello Richard,

      Yes, I have learned a lot from what happened – especially about paying attention to losing my temper 🙂

      Thankfully, that doesn’t happen much.

      Thank you for your comment. It is wonderful food for thought.

  • Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your
    blog and may come back later in life. I want to encourage that you continue your great writing, have a nice weekend!

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